I love my children. Maybe not as much as shareholders of some breweries and distilleries love me, but I love my children.
We do things for our children. We do it because we need them to survive (meals, clothes). We do it because we love them (coaching teams and volunteering at school). There are times we do things for our children that seem odd and out of the ordinary, but our children love it so much and want it to happen, so we go along with the idea.
If you’ve read the glorious tales of this site, you know that every Halloween I grow a beard. This is because my Miracles of Christ have decided my costume needs to include a beard. My beard-growing will usually start in the beginning of September to make sure I have a proper beard when it comes time to celebrate the souls who have crossed over and maybe score some candy.
I’m not sure when this tradition started, but I’m guessing The Oppressed had something to do with this. She has been getting me to grow a beard. The Boy has also lobbied for this.
My Most Recent Beard
The children thought it would be a great idea if I was Jafar last Halloween. Halloween means wearing a costume. I searched high and low but was not able to secure a Jafar costume. I checked one of the many stores of surplus clothing and accessories in our house. No luck. There was one long-shot option I was hoping I wouldn’t have to utilize, but, as I said before, I love my children.
There is a novelty shop on the North Shore called Joker’s Wild. I went there for the first time when I was a freshman in college. I was on a junket with other members of the Student Government Association. Some older members thought this would be a great initiation for me and warned me to not be the first to fall asleep at night. I grabbed my Yellow Pages and looked for a practical joke shop. I found Joker’s Wild. The store was conveniently located in Danvers. I went there and bought all kinds of useful items including itching powder, sneezing powder, and a substance that would make your beverage gel. Did I use any of these necessary inventions? I’ll plead the Fifth on that.
I checked online, and it pleased the gods that the store should still be in business. I explained my predicament to the nice lady on the phone. She told me she didn’t have a specific Jafar costume, but there were some items around the store I could cobble together and use for a Jafar costume. I got into my car and drove up to the fair town of Danvers. The nice lady (I forget her name) walked me around the store and pointed out the items she had for me to “make” a Jafar costume. I grabbed what I could find for my costume and made it back home in time to change and take my children to my company Halloween party. Some people still call me “Greg Jafar” at work.
I was Hagrid for Halloween
I needed to make sure my beard was well taken care of. I wanted to look like Hagrid, but not look too much like him.
There was another time both cherubs had the fantastic idea for me to be Hagrid one Halloween. This meant growing a beard for over a year. Wife supplied me with beard oil and sculpting cream. This came in handy when I needed to keep my moustache above my lip. This beard got long, just like Hagrid, and I was not sad when I got to finally shave it off. Growing a long beard presented a new set of challenges. I made sure to properly shampoo and condition the beard as it grew long. After my shower, I brushed the beard to make sure there were no tangles or knots. This beard required a lot of care and grooming. I needed to make sure it was well taken care of. I wanted to look like Hagrid, but not look too much like him.
Why not be a Leprechaun?
I had gone a few days without shaving recently, and I had some scruff on my face. I jokingly said at work I should try to grow a beard like a Leprechaun. For those of you scoring at home, this type of beard is called a Shenandoah (or Amish Beard), and features a beard with no moustache. People at work were thrilled with the idea. I mentioned this brilliant idea to my children. They decided I needed to do this in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day and in honor of our Irish heritage.
So, I went to work and began to forgo shaving for a couple of weeks. This makes my mornings easier, since I get to save a few minutes getting ready in the morning. Growing a beard and trying to look like a Leprechaun also helps me get into the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day. This is also easier for me than growing a beard for a few months or a year like when I (more like my children) decided I should be Hagrid.
St. Patrick’s Day is this week. Some will mark the holiday with Irish music. Some, like my nephew, will enjoy a parade in South Boston. People will sit down to boiled dinners and bars all over America will be pouring out Irish Stouts. Some will wear green, while others will decorate rooms and offices with pictures of shamrocks and pots of gold. I will be walking around town with my Shenandoah and maybe a little green on me. People everywhere will be wishing others a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. They will be celebrating it however they choose. I celebrate it this year by not shaving.
I liked the beach. Not only was the water warm, but the waves were high. Everyone got into the water and rode the waves. We jumped into the waves, tried to dive under them. Went out into the water and rode them back to shore, then went back out. The water was warm, but it still cooled us off.
I’m not saying the food was bad, either. It was good food. The drinks were good too. I was able to sample a Puerto Rican beer or two. Most of the time, though, it was your standard choices of beer. That hurt a little.
We got up and dressed. Pants and long sleeves. We were heading back to Massachusetts and weather conditions we were accustomed to in December. Everyone but Slugger dressed warm.
